by Christine | Observations, Writing
Scott and Christine, San Diego 1982 Photo by Chet Cunningham – all “real” writers.
It’s come up more than a few times lately, with more than a few of my friends. What is a “real” writer? When do I get to that point? When does it all just flow? Well, in the 13-plus years I’ve been writing, this is what I’ve come to know about being a “real” writer.
So Much Noise.
A real writer writes. They hide in their cave/laundry room/nearest coffee shop and write.
A real writer only writes on Wednesdays.
A real writer writes five thousand words a day when it goes well. Other times it’s like pulling teeth to get five hundred words done.
A real writer only writes when the muse strikes.
A real writer complains. They talk to like-minded writer friends about their hopes, dreams, and fears for the current manuscript, and no matter what, they go back to that manuscript until that sucker is done.
A real writer feels like a fraud, and when they do write a book that sells, they’re secretly afraid they’ll never be able to repeat it.
A real writer dives into each novel without planning, never knowing what’s going to come out.
A real writer gets to go on author tours and talk to kids about their middle grade books,
and opens minds and changes hearts while on said tour.
A real writer has Hollywood knocking on their door constantly.
A real writer does it all – writes, edits, designs covers, reviews books, formats books, and puts books out all by themselves. All the time.
A real writer never gets screwed by her agent/editor/publishing house.
A real writer has discussions with his agent/editor/critique partner about what’s just not working about the current book, and how to make it better.
A real writer doesn’t make good money.
A real writer plots meticulously before starting a new book.
A real writer gets reviews wherever reviews can be posted. Some are glowing. Some are not. Sometimes it looks like the person reviewing never read the book. Sometimes there aren’t many reviews, and the writer’s heart bleeds for that book.
A real writer has written books that will never see the light of day. Conversely, a real writer publishes everything they’ve ever written.
A real writer makes serious money.
A real writer only writes and pushes his wares to real publishers. Big five or nothing, baby.
Market market market. Twitter and FB and Instagram and Goodreads until you die. It’s the only way to make an impression.
A real writer can only write one good book a year.
A real writer refills the well when life hits hard, and puts the writing aside until the storm has passed (because it always passes).
A real writer can write a good book every month.
A real writer only writes for the intelligentsia.
A real writer writes no matter what’s going on in his life – death, birth, hurricanes or earthquakes, they’re writing.
A real writer gets agents and editors excited about their work.
A real writer writes every fucking day because there is no muse and the bills need to get paid.
And Then…
A real writer eventually learns that there is no correct way to be a real writer, and that what works for one person just won’t work for another. There are as many different roads to Publishing Nirvana as there are people trying to get there.
What is very interesting, is there are a LOT of people out there who want you to buy THEIR way to get to Publishing Nirvana, because THEIR way is the ONLY way. To which I call bullshit – be very wary of ANYONE who says their way is the only way to do anything, especially anything to do with writing. One size does not fit all, and these folks are preying on artists (because writers aren’t the only ones who get scammed in this manner).
So, to all you real writers out there, wherever you are on the writer’s journey, know you aren’t alone. What makes the journey worth while, for me at least, are the other writers/agents/editors we surround ourselves with, and the readers we reach with our words. You CAN do this. You CAN make this into your dream career.
Every writing career is a roller coaster. Sometimes it seems like we’re in free fall; other times it feels like getting to the top is taking forever. What is irritating and fascinating is that no two writers are on the same roller coaster.
Writers, musicians, artists of all kinds, actors, singers, dancers – the arts help to put the world around us into perspective for those who aren’t artists. It’s a gift, an obligation, for us to work on our art.
What is a “real” writer? One who doesn’t quit.
)O(
Go out into the world, dear hearts, be brave, and write. Paint. Sing. Film. Dance. And do it with your whole heart. Sending love and hugs to you.
Oh, and check out the writers depicted above. If you know a real writer, please give them a shout out by putting a link to their Amazon page in the comments.
Thanks!
by Christine | Writing
Okay, I lied. You don’t really need these two books to write ANYthing. Grocery lists, for instance, or chores lists. Or, you know, poetry. Either the really fancy kind (Shakespeare’s sonnets come to mind) or the wild n’ woolly kind (Charles Bukowski).
But if you’re writing anything else (just about), you’re gonna wanna read these two books by Michael Hague. The first one is Writing Screenplays That Sell, and the second one is Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds.
Why? Because. Okay, that’s really not an answer. Because they’re damned good. Because they tell you what is in every story imaginable that you didn’t realize was there. Because they help you SELL your story. I took a day long workshop with Michael at the end of March (the weekend we had a couple of earthquakes in Brea, California), and what he said made sense. What’s more, it was accessible to me. ME. Me. The gal who, after she took a 4 hour workshop with <name redacted>’s several years ago couldn’t write coherently for a YEAR mainly because of <name redacted>’s ego pumping up the workshop making most of us feel like shit. But it took time for me to see clearly beyond that fiasco.
The title of Michael’s workshop was Story Mastery, and he made good on his promise. He gave us the steps to every story. EVERY. STORY. And there wasn’t any need to “find the elixir” either (though, hey, elixir. Pretty yummy stuff.). (Let me know if you get the first reference. The second will only be understood by my hubby. Sorry.)
Formula? Um, heh. Okay, you can call it a “formula”. But most good stories have these points in them automatically. For those of us less naturally gifted, these books and Michael’s workshops are gold. GOLD.
The Screenplay book talks about Story Concept, Character Development, Theme and Character Arc, Structure, Scene Writing, Exceptions to the Rule, Marketing Yourself as a Screenwriter, and on and on. If you’re writing a screenplay, you must – simply must – read this book. A 20th Anniversary Edition has just been released (and mine is signed so no, you cannot borrow it).
Michael’s Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds book basically tells 
you how to pitch clearly and cleanly and with passion (because without passion, what is life?). If you’re a writer who wants to sell, at some point you’re gonna need to pitch your product. You have to get out of your writing cave, put on your DIVA panties, and pretend to the world that you’re comfortable shilling your wonderful novel/screenplay/play/book of poetry (shrug). And his book gives you the tools to do just that.
Nothing, however, beats passion. I just went to a conference in Arizona where, for the first time, I had enough passion behind my product to convince several really cool people to take a look at the full manuscript. And it felt fantastic. FANTASTIC.
So, if you’re a screenwriter, a novelist, a playwright, heck – even a poet – you just might want to pick up these books. And if Michael Hauge is speaking anywhere near you? Go ahead, dig into your savings, and go hear him. Because what he has to offer is so worth your time, energy, gas, and money (says the gal who is limited on all fronts at this point in time).
And no, I don’t get a commission, and he doesn’t know I wrote this. Just being clear.
)O(
What craft books have you been reading lately? I’d love to know!
by Christine | Observations, Wine Friday
Me again. Wines that won’t break your pocketbook but that are tasty. (Or that you should really stay away from.) These are both under $10, though I don’t recall the actual price. And I’m talking California prices, so if it’s a California wine and you’re elsewhere in the country, so sorry. You’re probably paying more.
La Vieille Ferme Recolte 2012 Rose Wine Alcohol 13.5% by Volume – Southern Rhone Valley
On the Label: “The Perrin family are the producers of this excellent rose wine. The vines from the appellation are planted on the hills of the renowned Mont Ventoux, and benefit from great sunlight and fairly cool temperatures for the Southern Rhone Valley. The Blend is made from Grenache, Syrah and Cinsault and the wines have a beautiful rose color, a floral nose with hints of aniseed and brown sugar. The mouth is on notes of white flowers, cherries and fruit drops. The finish is fresh and balanced. Winemakers reviews, recipe ideas, for all details, go here.” (My thanks to Pull The Cork for the photo. Go check them out!)
My Take: Okay, well – the label is obnoxious. Really? You’re gonna tell me how it smells AND tastes? Maybe it’s the translation, but when I read this I got irritated. (As if you couldn’t tell, lol!) But it’s a French wine from the Rhone Valley. I usually like those wines, and this fit into my price range, so I tried it.
My Rating: ~ Drinkable ~ Though I will say its not that different from a stringent (i.e., no oak) white wine. Fine when well-chilled – just don’t expect sweet from this wine.
[Noble Vines] 337 Cabernet Sauvignon 2011 Lodi, California 14.5% Alcohol by 
Volume
On the Label: “Born in France…Raised in America. Not all wines are created equal. Noble Vines 337 is the most coveted Cabernet Sauvignon vine stock in Bordeaux, France. These rare vines are prized for their concentrated flavor and thrive in the red soils and cobblestones of our Lodi vineyard.
“This wine exudes seductive atoms of mocha and dark cherry followed by intense flavors of ripe blackberry and spice. Enjoy with savory pasta, pot roast, thick steaks and creamy cheeses.”
My Take: Richer than I had suspected it would be. I’ll definitely try this wine again. It has a bunch of potential, even if it’s a bit pretentious. I wanted to try a Lodi wine, and I’m glad I chose this one.
My Rating: ~ Drinkable ~ I keep searching for the Very Drinkable wines for you, my dears! But this will definitely do, in the meantime.
)O(
What’s your favorite?
by Christine | Contests, Writing
So yeah, I went to the Desert Dreams Conference put on by the Desert Rose chapter of RWA. This year, it was in Tempe, Arizona, and I had a blast.
If you’re a writer, I highly recommend it – it’s limited to about 200 people, and there are some top agents and editors who come to get out of the snow back east. Plus the presenters are always wonderful!
If you’re a reader, there is an awesome book signing – this year there were about 50 authors signing their books, and the energy is always wonderful. But otherwise, the conference is really geared to writers, not readers. (Sorry.)
Cathy McDavid had an excellent workshop on Creating a Story Skeleton – I managed to plot out book 2 in my StarTide Talent Agency series during that workshop. Loved it – clear, concise, and OMFG so freaking helpful to a panther pantser like me. (Damn you, autocorrect!)
Jennifer Ashley had an amazingly wonderful workshop on Successful Single Title Series; she’ll be partnering with a category author to make it Single Title/Category Series at RWA in San Antonio this summer, and I’ll probably go again.
Christie Craig gave a fantastic luncheon speech. I first saw her speak in 2012 at RWA in Anaheim, and she’s just amazing. She lit a fire in my belly that hasn’t gone out and I’m so damned glad of it. I also promised her I’d see her in San Antonio, and I’d have the two books in my series done by then. Gulp. SO looking forward to it!
After lunch, Shelley Coriell did a wonderful presentation on how to create a business plan as a writer. I’ll be following it as much as I can from here on out, because it makes damned good sense.
Oh, and Allison Brennan’s The Villain’s Journey was A MAZE BALLS as you might expect. It mainly reiterated stuff I already knew, but she’s so fun to listen to. My main take away that I’d learned some time back was this: The Villain is the Hero of his own story. So you damned well better make him/her three dimensional, and not a cookie cutter.
In other news, I had three fabulous pitches (the guitar book, book one in the StarTide Talent Agency series) with two publishing houses and one agent, and I managed to get those submissions sent out before I left the hotel on Sunday. Finally, I feel like I know what I’m doing. Seeing the spark of interest in their eyes totally made my day. Week. Okay, heck, the month of April. When I know anything of any interest, I’ll be sure to let you know.
I didn’t win any baskets that were raffled off, but the conference made more than a thousand dollars to donate to literacy in Maricopa County (I think that’s where they donated it.)
Oh, yeah…and there’s this, too.
Yeah, I’m proud. And shocked. And thrilled. Because this is the book that I pitched, and got such GREAT feedback on. So, that’s my weekend. Any questions?
)O(
by Christine | Wine Friday
Good wines without breaking the bank. I’m all about that. I believe that a good bottle of wine can be had for under $10, and I’ve appointed myself the job to sniff those out. (I’ll be sure to let you know if it’s MORE than $10, because every now and then I taste those, too.) If YOU have a favorite wine, I’d love to know – so please leave a comment!
As the title says, I’m mad for red wines. I mostly prefer Pinot Noirs and Zinfandels, but there are some surprisingly good red blends out there, too. So sit back and enjoy!
Trader Joe’s Reserve Zinfandel 2012 Paso Robles, California Lot # 84 Alcohol 14.5% by Volume
On the Label: “Juicy raspberry, boysenberry and black cherry notes lead to vanilla oak and spice notes with a smooth, jammy finish.”
Hmmm.
My Take: First off, a bit of snark. I’m really, really tired of wineries saying their wines taste “jammy”. I’ve never tasted a wine and said to myself, gee, that tastes like jam! I should dip my toast into it with breakfast! (Okay, so that IS a good idea – but you get my meaning.) On the positive side, that’s it for label chat. Boom. Done. LOVE it.
A bit of wisdom for you – when Trader Joe’s puts out a reserve with a Lot # on it, you can almost guarantee that it’s a good winery wine in that bottle. I met a wonderful guy who works at Letitia when Tom and I were up in Cambria; he told us that Letitia wine was in one of these bottles (I’d tell you which one, but TJ’s doesn’t stock it any more so there’s that). We grabbed two bottles and wish we’d grabbed more, as they were $9.99, and I don’t think you can find much Letitia wine under $10.
Oh, and the wine – yes, tasty. TASTY. Not “jammy” to my tastebuds at all, but definitely full of flavor and perfect with steak and potatoes or maybe a hearty lasagna. No, I don’t know which winery it’s from. If you find out, please let me know! BTW, here’s an article on it from Trader Joe’s online Fearless Flyer.
My Rating: ~ Very Drinkable ~ The only danger is having a love affair with this type of wine can lead to heartbreak when they – suddenly – no longer carry it. Sigh.
With every conservative bottle of wine (see above), there is its wicked cousin who comes to dinner (below).
Stark Raving RED by Rosenblum Cellars Sonoma, California Alcohol 12.5% by 
Volume $8.99 at Vons
On the Label: “Some might think quitting your day job to pursue your passion for winemaking is crazy – even stark raving mad. Stark Raving ™ from Rosenblum Cellars is a tribute to our founder’s maniacal obsession with experimentation, which still inspires us today. Our Red Wine is a playful and bold blend of plum and bright red fruit flavors, proving that a little dose of madness can lead to extraordinary things.”
My Take: I loved this wine. I picked it up for the label – I bought it for the fact that it came from Rosenblum Cellars, and I can tell you I’ll definitely be buying it again. It’s a big wine, and does better with a little airing. It’s also got a screwtop, which I love (makes it fit in my fridge easier).
My Rating: ~ Drinkable Plus ~ I did love this wine, but I didn’t LOVE it. There are some who won’t like it – it might be a bit too brash. It’s DEFINITELY a food wine – not a sipper, in my opinion – but that’s okay because I like to eat when I drink wine, lol! But do give it a shot and let me know what you think. Here’s a link to a YouTube video that’s really fun – give it a shot!
)O(
So, what do you think?
