This has been a remarkable journey, especially these last few days. I had surgery for an acoustic neuroma in my right ear on Thursday December 16th, and got home yesterday to pouring rain and no chance of seeing the eclipse. My Solstice celebration was brief, but heartfelt.
A writer doesn’t get an offer of a two book contract every day, or even every month. A person doesn’t get a diagnosis of needing brain surgery every day, either. I don’t know the stats, but I’m thinking maybe the odds are roughly the same? At any rate. I had both those things happen to me in September/October timeframe. Now the surgery is done and I’m recovering; and the first book will be published in March of 2011 (cover coming in February and I love what I’ve seen so far!).
I can’t drive for awhile, and I don’t know how long I’ll be on disability. My cognitive thinking is just fine but my mental willingness to deal with details is squirmy right now. But what’s got me excited is this can be a new me, going into a new year.
I have the opportunity to change so much – some superficial things like diet and exercise, of course, but other, deeper things. Having a real regular writing schedule. Not putting as much emphasis on my part time day job. Expanding what I write and reaching out for more than I’ve dared to reach for in the past with my writing. I can stop being shy and really brand myself online. I can reach deeper into the business as I reach deeper into myself, and get myself fully prepared for the glorious ride to come.
It is a time of much excitement for me, and a part of me gets pissy that I get weak and have to sleep, to heal. So it’s also a time of learning a deep patience. Walking on the treadmill only for 20 minutes on slow, instead of jogging. I’m an ex-ballet dancer and have been a runner in the past (LA Marathon, 2000 – rainiest LA marathon EVAR), so going slow is extremely trying on my patience, as is having to be careful with my physical body as I retune my brain for head and body movements. Having to go slow will also, hopefully, inform my writing; learning how to deepen a story, make it more meaningful for the characters and the readers, alike.
These two life-altering paths that I’ve been treading are expanding me personally and professionally. I am in a strangely exalted state of being and while I’m looking forward to Christmas and the New Year, I feel like I already have all the gifts of the season scattered around me, ready for me to play with them as soon as I am able.
My editors are thankfully taking these two weeks off, and aren’t pressuring me about anything. SO glad I got the book to them prior to surgery – but even if I hadn’t, they wouldn’t have cared. They are more concerned about me than the product, and that is priceless.
My last two blessings are my family and friends. My husband holds my heart. We’ve been together a long time, and he is right there beside me when I need an arm to grip, a shoulder to beat upon, or someone to laugh with. He is my soul mate. My children held me so tightly when I got home yesterday, that I figure I got something right in being a mom.
And my friends have been steady with their love, concerns, prayers, healing light and energy not to mention food, offers of rides, and other joys.
I wish you all blessings at this huge time of change. Grasp what scares you personally and take it deeper. Growing can hurt, but not all hurts are bad.