Sorry for my lack of posting. It’s been a bit of hell around here this week. Both good and bad, and don’t they always seem to go hand in hand?
First off, I’m back in The Boot. Yes, that lovely fashion statement is once again a staple of my wardrobe. On Monday, I managed to step wrong and cause a hairline fracture just slightly off from the place I broke my fibula 18 months ago. When the pain didn’t go away immediately, I made an appointment with my bone doc – and back in the boot am I. For a minimum of two weeks, then we take another x-ray to see what’s what.
At least it’s not the four months like the last time.
And in other good/bad news, my hubby has been hired in a theater production down in San Diego, starting early next week and running until the beginning of June. He’s excited (when I have more detail, I’ll share) and I’m so happy for him. But right now, past midnight, I’m miserable. I mean, I’m used to being the kind of Theater Widow where the hubby is gone for hours, not days. The type where I go to sleep by myself, but wake up next to him in the morning. So this is different.
Plus, right now, he’s off auditioning for other jobs that don’t even start until this one is
over; and they aren’t here in the L.A. area. Which means more being apart. Which totally sucks. Since I turned fifty – since my warranty broke, lol – we’ve grown so much closer. He’s been there with me through all the worry and adversity and we’ve come out the other side a lot stronger, together.
I’m not good at being alone, I find. I don’t eat well. I drink a little too much. I don’t write, which is a damned shame and something that I must fix. I feel very alone, which is silly since my two grown sons are just down the hall. But a part of me is missing, and I’m not at all happy about that. And he’s only been gone since Tuesday!
In the grand scheme of things, I’m slightly ashamed at my weakness. I mean, my husband isn’t serving in the military, half way around the world. He’s not in mortal danger every day. I know a lot of military wives, and I am in awe of how resilient they are. I suppose, if my husband had traveled a lot throughout our marriage, I too would be much more resilient and self-reliant and stiff-upper-lippy about it. But I’m not. Inside, I’m whiny and mopey and feeling very sorry for myself.
I probably need to make a plan for these long nights. First off, eat extremely healthy and have only one glass of wine. Second, write. Third, figure out Face Time. (I have skype but the hubby’s iPad has Face Time.) Otherwise, I will waste my time in front of the TV set, watching Project Runway or NCIS reruns or something like that, when I should be doing something much more productive, like getting this book finished. And the next one. (Because I can’t sell them if they’re not finished!)
So, deep breath. I will survive. (Not too sure about the garden, though – hubby was my main garden hand. Will need to press the boys into servitude.) I’ve got RWA Chapter meetings to go to this weekend, and I’ll actually see the hubs for a few hours. Plus writing will get done. I swear it.
How’s your week been? What’s been Good? What’s been Bad?
~ Until the next time, cheers! ~
Demon Soul and Demon Hunt are all available for the Kindle and Kobo! Have you fallen into the Caine Brothers’ world yet?
Congrats to the hubs on the gig, even if it isn’t quite in town. (But I thought the theatre saying “break a leg” was supposed to apply to the ACTOR, not the actor’s family!)
The Good is I am seeing daylight re: the end of tax season, which means MY brain cells just might start functioning again, in short bits. Long enough for me to work on the latest novel, I am hoping. Good luck with all your goals.
Thanks, Beverly…and I know, right? LOL…YAY for you and tax season officially ending! My niece is in Phoenix, counting down the days until Tuesday. She hasn’t had a day off in – oh, since maybe the Superbowl? Hugs hon!
I wore one of those boots for a months and then some very attractive orthopedic shoes. I can relate.
OMG, Janie! Sitting at a desk all day, where I can’t put my foot up – it’s driving me bonkers. At least, this time around, I don’t have to sleep in it. Cheers hon!
If you’re open to less modern healing ideas you might consult with an herbalist or a homeopath to speed healing, or perhaps some acupuncture. For the sleeping, I dragged out a large Teddy bear, and kept my cell phone under the second pillow. Gave me something to hug in the dark, and a feeling of being more connected
Being alone is tough. My hubby is a flight attendant and is gone for days at a time. I feel your pain. It’s damn lonely. I fill it with reading and writing. I find I get more done when he’s gone now. Sending you prayers for healing and answers to your writing funk. I can’t help with lack of sleep as my warranty expired some years ago and hot flashes and night sweats keep me up. Hormones on the way–maybe.
Sandy, I love my hormones. But then, I had a hysterectomy last August, due to calcified fibroids. I will say the hormones have really saved me. Now to get healed so I can get my exercise plan back in gear! Hugs honey!
Sorry about your foot, but great photos. : )
Yes, I could see that would be a big adjustment. I don’t have any advice other than maybe a project with the same deadline as when the hubs return. Something you enjoy and can look forward to doing.
Roben, I’m hoping to have both books done by the time he’s due to return at the beginning of June. A terrific deadline – we shall see!
Okay, the fracture…that just sucks! I’m sending you all the bone-mending vibes I can muster. Congrats to hubby on the role. I can tell having him gone isn’t fun for you, but I think it’s kind of sweet how much you miss him. 🙂
Sam – all bone-mending vibes are happily accepted. Yeah, it’s funny how lucky we both feel in our choice of mate. And we’re still planning for the future, after 33 years together. It is nice.
You had a double whammy this week — another fracture and husband being away. Instead of 1 + 1 equaling 2, you probably feel like these two have added up to 1, 376, 309.
Finish the book, then treat yourself and your hubby to a few days together in San Diego. That will give you something to look forward to.
Ah, MM – I had to laugh. And you’re absolutely right on in your equation! Luckily the hubs is home around 3am Saturday morning, and doesn’t have to leave again until Tuesday morning. So there’s that. Hugs!
I know how you feel being alone! I consider myself a very independent woman, but I too feel hollow whenever my husband is away for more than a day or two. Hope your broken leg heals quickly, and break a leg to the hubby!
Thanks, Laura! Hugs hon!
Hugs Christine — I think we bond with our hubbies as we age and miss them even more when they are gone. I faced some lonely days last weekend, even though my son and daughter saw me and I had lunch with a good friend. It’s just different in the house. But work is always there…think of it as your friend and go out to play. Sometimes I get so immersed in the story, hours fly by… hugs again on the footsie.
Sending cyber hugs and well wishes!!
Charlene, I know you’re right – I just need to dive in. For some reason writing this week has been like pulling teeth, and I cheer for a meager 100 words. But better than no words. Hugs back at you!
Oh, Christine, you make me laugh. NCIS reruns? That’s exactly what I’m doing as I read/write this! Filling my family room with Mark, Michael, Pauley, Cote, Sean, David, and the rest, so that the echoing silence that surrounds me doesn’t seep into my soul. Funny how we talk about the empty nest being due to our little fledglings taking flight — and it’s true — but like you, my aches are so much keener after the resulting rekindling of closeness with my husband … and the two shall become one, again. It’s especially hard this time around — up until last week, my daughter and son-in-law were living with us during their transition back to L.A. But they’ve found their new little love nest … and had the nerve to take her dog and cat with them! So, like you, I wait, alone — not sleeping, not eating well, not able to keep my mind from wandering back or forward to when we’re together. But this time is easier, too. I’ve overloaded my schedule with things to do — personal, professional, social, and … whatever “al” describes the homefront: from submitting and auditioning for every project that suits, to manies and pedies and whitening my teeth; and loads of spring cleaning of every nook and cranny. There’s no conceivable way I’ll accomplish it all; but whenever I find my resolve (and my chest) collapsing, I turn to my lists and distract myself. Obviously, your recent re-injury keeps you from tackling a great deal of all that; but I’m betting you’ll find alternatives. And I bet you can write. Maybe not what you want, not what you’ve scheduled … but what if you write about him, about your rekindled romance and friendship, and where it’s taking you. In acting, we’re told to use our emotions, channel them into our work for the betterment of our output. I’m guessing it’s much the same with writing. Every moment is a lesson; every step on our journey a necessary part of our growth. Painful and lonely as it is, embrace it; for you wouldn’t be feeling this way if you didn’t have something incredibly precious to miss. And in those lonely moments, know that you are not alone. There are many of us sharing the experience at the exact moment you are. Allow yourself to feel their hope and joyful expectations of impending reunions … and the genuine gratitude of at least one whose heart you’ve touched and load you’ve lightened by the sharing of your story. Thank you, truly.
Ah, Robyn. You’ve made my day. Sending hugs! Actually, I wrote the post last night because I was awake, was feeling guilty for not having put up a blog post in over a week, etcetera…I am determined to get this book done, and the next. Thank you…thank you so much!
Oh my, I got to this post late. I hope you’re doing better now. My husband has traveled for business in the past, and I go crazy after about five days. I know that I’m better at what my friend calls “tag-team parenting,” and I just miss him being close. Like you, my heart goes out to those who are away from their spouse for far longer periods, but it’s still hard being without your constant companion.