Knowing My Place

Knowing My Place

Most of the time, I know my place. I love my place – it’s got hubby in it, and my kids, my cat, my relatives, my friends, a terrific garden and a comfy bed to snuggle into at night. It’s also got stuffed animals that like to greet me when I come home from a writer’s conference.

My welcome home from Desert Dreams – stuffed animals guarding an ice bucket with a bottle of champagne. Isn’t my hubby the sweetest?

But it’s taken me some time to get to this place. I stumbled across what I thought was a brand-new journal book and took it along to a new playwright’s workshop I take on Monday nights. Imagine my surprise when I opened it up and found notes from a scam possible job opportunity, back in May of 2010.

I read through my notes (which were substantial – I believe I went to a week’s worth of “training”). There was a lot of leadership stuff in there – really good leadership stuff, I might add, which I will re-read again. Plus there was a lot of manipulation stuff in there, too; which bugged me at the time. But it took actually trying to sell this stuff before I realized that this job was not for me, no matter how much money I could make doing it.

Which got me to thinking about another job I had, spanning four months, not many months before I checked into the scam other possible job opportunity. That was a real job, with a real paycheck and real expense reports and real work. I was good at it, too. By the fourth month, I knew what I was doing, I could handle the work with my eyes shut and hands tied behind my back, and I was absolutely and positively miserable. Part of the misery was some family issues that were happening, and I was far away from home each day. So when I quit – and that, in fact, has been the only job I have quit – I did so as politely as I could, telling them that I was needed at home and this job wasn’t the right fit for me. They tried to keep me but I held firm. More money wouldn’t have done it (and boy was I underpaid). I spent the next two weeks getting everything in order, making sure the people who were taking my accounts knew what was going on in each area, copying my boss on all the details. I didn’t want to be badmouthed about my work when I left, and I wanted to make sure that if I ever HAD to, I could go back.

I have thought about these two jobs quite a bit in the last few days. I knew I could have handled them both, but there comes a time when you should just back away. Just because you CAN do a job doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it. Not at the expense of your own personal health and happiness, or how your mood affects your family.

Writing is a job. Luckily, I can and should and do write, and even though it can be difficult at times I never feel like I’m wearing ill-fitting clothes. I never feel out of place. I am never insanely miserable.

Writing, I’m happy to say, is my “place”. (So is my current day job, which I’m lucky to have and I’m grateful that it’s a good fit for my personality.)

Desert Dreams Booksigning

At Desert Dreams Booksigning, with a part of the Arizona contingent of the Ashworth clan. One of the good writing days! (The one that voids warranties is Young Son.)

I’m thinking young people today are trying to find their own “place” almost too quickly, thereby abandoning part of the journey to self discovery for “place”. Later, they wonder why they’re unhappy. Maybe choosing your “place” too young is a bad thing?

Or maybe not enough people are lucky enough to find their “place” early in life? I don’t know. But heck, I’m happy where I am.

I guess you could say I’m in my happy place, lol, every time I sit down to write or go to the day job. Yes, I count myself lucky!

I also know that I’m a strong, intelligent woman and I’m friends with other strong, intelligent women (and men). Amidst all the change and upheaval and births and deaths and angst and incredible happiness and terrible storms, it helps to remember we are all human. What divides is is minor compared to what should unite us. We are strong and breakable; we all live, love, laugh, cry, eat, sleep, dream, bleed and die, and the earth is our “place”. Right now, it’s the only earth we’ve got.

I guess I’ve said enough. I’ve got dinner to make and more words to write. Peace out, people – and remember to be gentle with each other, even when we may disagree. Hugs!

~ Until the next time, cheers – and remember to drink responsibly! ~

Demon Soul, Blood Dreams and Demon Hunt are all available for the Kindle! Have you fallen into the Caine Brothers’ world yet?